who made god

i think i know how god was created.
there was a little kid whose mother was trying to cook dinner.
the kid came up to her and asked,
mom, why is the sky blue?
why does that kid next door hit me?"
why are stop signs red?
why don't my ears fall off?
why don't lemons taste good?
and that mother invented god.
god did it.
god did it.
god did it.
god did it.
god did it.
it just seemed like an easy out.
what that mother did not foresee was....
mom, why does god make that kid hit me?
why did god make the stop signs red?
why did god not make my ears fall off?............

mom, did god make god?
(i swear, cody really asked me that)

a weird piece of art

this is cody's latest piece of art. i can't decide whether to take it at face value- nice piece-
or whether to show it to the psychologist. or the graphologist. or the kabbalist. or maybe to those guys on that show where the mathematician solves murders. is there a code? maybe i should read every other letter?
indigo child? autism spectrum issue? another planet?
hmmmmm.

martin luther king returns

cody woke up this morning, and the first thing he said was,
"i have a dream".
wow.
so maybe that's it. maybe he's a reincarnation of martin luther king. maybe......

"i ate candy".

oh. he had a dream about candy. he got those pesky tenses mixed up again.

in my next life i'm going to be a girl

i may have hinted about reincarnation once or twice to my kids, when they asked about death.
not because i'm sure i believe in other lives, but because i'd like to. i find the idea comforting. i'm never sure whether cody is listening to me or understanding when i tell him stuff. or if there's someone else feeding him ideas.
anyway, the other day cody informed us that he is going to get big and die and then he will be a girl baby named jessie.

pass the eucalyptus leaves, please

we were having my family over for dinner last night, and cody decided he wanted to cook the dinner.
i had decided on lasagna,
he had another menu planned.

we went out to the community garden to pick some fresh lettuce.
he picked some eucalyptus leaves. came back in.
i washed my lettuce leaves, he washed his eucalyptus leaves, put them in a bowl, set them out on the table.
then he went into the fridge, took out the plain pasta (leftovers) that was there, added an entire jar of pesto, and then sprinkled some cinnamon in it.. he put it out on the table. then he poured a bowl of cheerios, and took some rice cakes and smeared them with peanut butter. and put it all out on the table.

so we had lasagna, salad, garlic bread, peas, eucalyptus leaves, rice cakes with peanut butter, pasta with pesto and cinnamon.
yum.

in my defense, i'll just say that i was glad that he was using his powers for good, not evil.
(and at least i got MY menu done, which i would not have if he had decided to spend his time throwing pineapple chunks at the dog).

of course, later when the family came over, they all felt that when he passed the eucalyptus leaves, they had to eat some.

are both ears still there?

ok, one more post about the tooth thing, and then i promise i'll stop. (i think.)

so cody wakes up this morning, and shows me his hand. "look, there's a finger missing!" he points to the space between his index finger and his thumb.

i tell him that no, there was no finger there before, and if he counts them, he'll see that he still has ten fingers. he does, and is calmed, for the time being.

i realize that according to cody-logic, it totally makes sense that if his teeth could fall out, why not his fingers? i tell him 20 times throughout the day, that nothing else is going to fall off. just his teeth.

later i catch him touching both ears, making sure they're both still attached.

can we put that tooth back in, please?

so the tooth fell out
while cody was trying to bite me
because i wouldn't buy him a second ice cream cone.
(i don't think he'll try to bite me again.)
he immediately started crying,"i'm broken, i'm broken."
i didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.
"hey, cody, now the tooth fairy will come and bring you a present!
let's go home and call grandma."
once again, i'm thinking in terms of the family in the
"how to raise kids" handbook. (which is not us.)
cody was having none of it. "why isn't god nice to me?"
he DID get excited about getting a car under his pillow this morning.
but then he wanted his tooth back.
at first i thought it was because he wanted to put it under his pillow again,
kind of a 2 for one deal.
then i realized it was because he wanted to put the tooth back in his mouth, to make himself fixed.

lemme take a look at that handbook again.

lock the doors, the toothfairy's coming

cody's tooth is loose! wow, our little baby. he's almost 6. right on time, by the handbook. this is SO exciting!!

"why doesn't god like me?" was our first hint that this experience was NOT going to go exactly according to the handbook.
"why is god breaking me?"
cody starts to wail. "i'm breaking!"

we pull out our best we-know-just-what-to-say faces, and explain all about teeth, and how he will get new big ones, and how the toothfairy will come to our house and put a present under his pillow.......and...and...

he starts to calm down
"will she bring me a jeep?"
we tell him a jeep won't fit under the pillow.
"well," he says. "she could just leave the keys under the pillow, and the jeep could be outside"............

at which point (little sister) tyler pipes up, "whaddaya mean some lady is flying into our room in the middle of the night?"
and then SHE starts wailing. and won't go to sleep in her room.

where is that handbook?

runner-up names for this blog

whodrewonthesofa

itwasntmethedogdidit

arewethereyet

shoesinthefishtank

didnotdidtoodidnotdidtoo

it's a blog about my son cody. who i love to death.
whoever can figure him out gets a million dollars. ok, i don't have a million dollars.